Sunday, August 29, 2010

Waiting

Having a baby requires a lot of waiting. Waiting to make sure that you will keep the baby. Waiting to find out the sex. Waiting to feel it move. Waiting to meet the baby.

How much patience does a girl have to have?

I am torn. Part of me wants to meet the child inside of me, but part of me is not ready to give up my independence. Am I really ready to tote a stroller or carseat, a diaper bag, and anything else the baby might need everywhere I go? Am I ready to give up sleeping through the night to get pooped on and cried at? I know I will be in 5 months. But until then, I am enjoying my freedom from so much responsibility.

The next milestone will be feeling the baby move. I am 16 weeks. The doctor said most women feel the baby move at 18-22 weeks. Sometimes I think I feel it, but then I wonder if it is just my stomach rumbling. It's weird to know there is a person inside of me doing acrobatics-- but I can't feel it.

When we went for our 12 week ultrasound, the baby was doing flips. The doctor kept saying-- come on child, be still. So, I know our baby is active. Jason says he (or she) is practicing for his 90 degree kick. I could have gotten the name of that kick wrong-- but it is when a soccer player makes a goal in one of the upper corners. I think Jason is right.

Anyway, all I can do is wait. I have no choice. Part of me is glad for the wait, and part of me is feeling a little anxious.

2 comments:

  1. If you think you are feeling it, you probably are. At the beginning, it feels like butterflies in your stomach. :-) Can't wait to meet the little Vandever!

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  2. I read this a while ago and totally identified. I have struggled much more this pregnancy with wanting time to hurry and pass so we can meet our son, rather than seeking to find contentment in this time and appreciating the preparations God is making in Russ, me, Campbell, and of course baby!

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