I am not a schedule type of person. I don't think I could live my life knowing everyday at 11 am I'll be doing this or at 2 pm this will happen. I know some people thrive in that kind of predictability, but not me. I love knowing that everyday will look different from the one before. I like to concentrate on the moment I'm in and enjoy it for what it is worth. That variety helps me to do that.
I wanted to learn my mothering personality. I know what my personality is like as a teacher, but I wanted to stretch myself and see how I handled certain things. I have learned so much about myself as a result. I sometimes do the craziest things just to get a laugh out of Ethan. It's so much fun. And when I start to discipline him, which he doesn't understand, I find myself saying things like, "There are differences between wants and needs and this is clearly a want and not a need, so let's not use our need cry for things that we want." Haha- so funny that I say things like that. I know that Ethan is not mine- he belongs to Jesus. I am just stewarding him for the time being. Jesus must think I am pretty funny with my logic. :)
I want to enjoy my time with Ethan. I am not working outside of being a mom, so I have the luxury of taking time to do things with Ethan. I can nurse him to sleep and hold him while he naps. I can take a nap with him. Watching his precious little face laid sideways on our bed with his mouth open while he sleeps is one of my favorite things to do. I don't have to worry about other kids I'm taking care of. And I know that nothing could be more important than enjoying this little man. I think when he is older and I have to be diligent with discipline, I can remember these sweet moments and keep my calm. Or, when we have another baby, to recount the days of Ethan's infancy to him and let him know how precious he is and was to me during that time.
Having a disciplined life for me right now means enjoying life. Stopping to take in the beauty around me when I see it. And to enjoy it. To see my creator in my relationship with Ethan and to see how God loves us in the way I understand my love for Ethan. Beautiful.
For me, baby whispering and being wise about babies is praying and following the steps of where God takes me in each moment. Trusting that God will provide me the wisdom, love, and patience to get through this day and this moment. And to enjoy it while I do.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Ask and it will be given to you, see, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil , know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7: 7-11