Peanut Butter and Jelly Time

When I told Jason I was signing Ethan up for a gymnastics class, the response was not well received. I assured him that it was not a commitment to the sport, but just a way for Ethan to get some energy out. I have heard from other moms how great the "Peanut Butter and Jelly" class the city offers and wanted to try it out. On the first day, we arrived to find it filled with boys all around the same age running around and climbing on things. Not what Jason had expected. It has turned out to be a great class. Ethan has learned how to climb in class and now climbs on things at home. :) It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?

Here are some of Ethan's moves in class:

Climbing over the obstacle to get into the ball pit. 

He can now climb in and out of the bathtub at home.

Rolls while screaming.

Oh, yes and he runs around and climbs with a ball most of the time.

Climbing the obstacle course. 

Ethan can now climb onto some of the furniture at our house.

Mom, this is so fun! Mid scream pic.

After the last class, one of the mom's predicted that Ethan would be quite a talker once he could communicate.... because he squeals in delight during the entire class and yells "Ba!" (ball) at the top of his lungs constantly.

Story Time

Warning: The content of the post may be extremely boring to you if you do not have a small child who attends a library for story time.

Ok, can't say I didn't warn you.

Ethan and I attend story time each week in our little city. Our city has a wonderful network of libraries. You can check out something like 30 books at a time, they have lots of kid's story time classes , and they have great hours and locations. I love a good library- I worked in our school library before and after school in middle school and loved it. I would absolutely love to be a librarian or a story time person. I think those jobs seem like a lot of fun.

That being said, story time is important to me. I want Ethan to enjoy reading and since I stay home with him, going to story time is a great way to foster a love of reading. We started going to story time when he was about 7 months old. It was a crawler story time. The girl who led it was amazing. She did a great job keeping the kid's attention and picking great books for our time together. Ethan and I (mostly I) sing those songs often and have added some of her book picks to our home library.

When Ethan was able to walk and had a change in nap time, we switched our story time to the walkers class. The lady at our branch who does walkers is not that animated. She reads 2 stories and sings a few songs- while most of the kids are walking around the room not paying attention. She is a really nice lady and seems to really love the kids and doing story time. Plus, there is about 30 minutes of play time at the end that Ethan absolutely loves.

Moms talk. And many moms told me about this lady at the Gordon Ave branch who is, "just amazing!", "is really animated" ,"has funky hair", and " is really teaching my kid a lot". I had to check this out. It is free after all. So, Ethan and I went to Gordon today. We walked into this smallish room with no windows lined with chairs in the basement.... and there were about 30 kids with their moms. Not kidding. It was crazy. The lady was very high energy. She danced with the kids, read to the kids, had little name tags for the kids, blew bubbles. She was fantastic. The moms I talked with were right. She was all of the things she said and more.

The only thing is- I didn't like it as much. I can't quite explain it. The parking was awful, there were so many kids, and the class was short (although there are longer ones you can "enroll" in). I found that I like my "boring", smaller story time in a room with windows and a smaller group of kids. Where the teacher knows my face and Ethan's name, and Ethan can direct his own play during the class.

I think I will stick with my local branch and save Gordon for when Ethan is older or when we need a change. Right now, Ethan and I are happy with our story time choice.

Mom at our local library with Ethan on Halloween.

Crawlers story time at our local branch.

Weaning

Ethan will be 13 months old soon. I can't believe we have made it this far. My mind works in seasons, like before Jas and I got married- I planned for everything up until we were married- simply because I didn't know what to expect. The same was true of moving to Virginia, then pregnancy, and then being a mom who nursed their baby. Our family is now entering a new phase. Jason and I are ready to be able to leave Ethan for a night and I am working on being able to let go of Baby Ethan and move onto Toddler Ethan.

I am a little apprehensive about weaning. How will I comfort Ethan in a way that he understands? How will I put him down for his naps? On the flip side, I am excited to wean. I don't have to wear nursing undergarments. I don't have to be with Ethan every night for him to fall asleep. I can be a little more independent if needed.

Jas and I are attending a marriage conference in April- later April. We have decided that we want to go away for one night and be able to leave Ethan here with a trusted family member. This means that Ethan will need to be weaned.

It may sound like a lot of time, but it feels like a huge chapter is closing for me. A chapter of mommyhood that I have loved and enjoyed. Something that was so hard at first and then became so easy and then became something I looked forward to because I could watch Ethan fall asleep in my arms. So sweet.

A new chapter is emerging. One that includes whole milk in sippy cup. No bottles or pacifiers. A chapter with a very active little boy trying to go down slides by himself and push a swing at the park. A little boy who loves to eat fruit cut up in a bowl with a fork and crunch on crackers using his 2 and a half little teeth.

The baby season is over and the little boy season is here. I will let you know how weaning goes. Pray for us and our new season. Pray for my heart in letting this little bit of sweetness go for the greater good of my family.

Going With the Flow

I chose not to do Babywise or The Baby Whisperer or any of those books. I definitely had moments where I wanted to talk to someone who had all the answers, but I did not turn to those books to find them. I found help from Dr. Sears books and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I felt those books were more of an encouragement than a how to. They gave a base line of what was normal and what to be concerned about, but did not give a regiment. They gave freedom- to do things the way you think is best.

I am not a schedule type of person. I don't think I could live my life knowing everyday at 11 am I'll be doing this or at 2 pm this will happen. I know some people thrive in that kind of predictability, but not me. I love knowing that everyday will look different from the one before. I like to concentrate on the moment I'm in and enjoy it for what it is worth. That variety helps me to do that.

I wanted to learn my mothering personality. I know what my personality is like as a teacher, but I wanted to stretch myself and see how I handled certain things. I have learned so much about myself as a result. I sometimes do the craziest things just to get a laugh out of Ethan. It's so much fun. And when I start to discipline him, which he doesn't understand, I find myself saying things like, "There are differences between wants and needs and this is clearly a want and not a need, so let's not use our need cry for things that we want." Haha- so funny that I say things like that. I know that Ethan is not mine- he belongs to Jesus. I am just stewarding him for the time being. Jesus must think I am pretty funny with my logic. :)

I want to enjoy my time with Ethan. I am not working outside of being a mom, so I have the luxury of taking time to do things with Ethan. I can nurse him to sleep and hold him while he naps. I can take a nap with him. Watching his precious little face laid sideways on our bed with his mouth open while he sleeps is one of my favorite things to do. I don't have to worry about other kids I'm taking care of. And I know that nothing could be more important than enjoying this little man. I think when he is older and I have to be diligent with discipline, I can remember these sweet moments and keep my calm. Or, when we have another baby, to recount the days of Ethan's infancy to him and let him know how precious he is and was to me during that time.

Having a disciplined life for me right now means enjoying life. Stopping to take in the beauty around me when I see it. And to enjoy it. To see my creator in my relationship with Ethan and to see how God loves us in the way I understand my love for Ethan. Beautiful.

For me, baby whispering and being wise about babies is praying and following the steps of where God takes me in each moment. Trusting that God will provide me the wisdom, love, and patience to get through this day and this moment. And to enjoy it while I do.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. 

Matthew 6:34

 Ask and it will be given to you, see, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil , know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7: 7-11

To the Mattresses

I know this blog has been all about Ethan lately-- but I can't help it! The newest dilemma is this....

Ethan has spent the first 6 months of his life napping in this swing. I knew the day was coming when he would outgrow it... and that day is here. I have been fighting it for a while. When I turn the swing on full blast it barely moves the boy. He does weigh 19 lbs.... I hand rock it and the whole thing creaks in protest. I have to hold the feet of the swing down so they don't come off the floor with the 19 lbs of momentum coursing through them. It is so time to give it up.

The other option is the car seat. Ethan will go to sleep in it really well. I just have to put a blanket on him, give him a paci, and rock him for a few minutes. He will fall asleep in the middle of anything if he is rocked.

The obvious option is the crib. He only sleeps in it at night. He sleeps in the swing or the car seat during the day.The pediatrician suggested that we teach Ethan how to fall asleep on his own in the crib. She suggested trying this during the day instead of at night. That way when he wakes up in the middle of the night in it, he can fall right back asleep without having to be put back to sleep. Makes sense. But easier said than done- especially now that he is crawling and pulling up. I have to wrestle him down the mattress to get him to lay down sometimes.

But, we have been working on it. And it is going surprisingly well. The first night he woke up at his normal time at night, I got him down on the mattress, calm, in about 20 minutes. Then the stare off began.... for the next hour. This is not fun at 3 am. But he finally went to sleep in the crib without eating. Since then we have been practicing during the day too and it is also going really well. It takes about 10 minutes of me holding his arms down while he is laying down for him to drift off. I have to hold his arms down to keep him laying down and not trying to sit up and crawl. Tonight when he went to sleep it took about 5 minutes and I only held his arms down for 2 of those minutes... Hopefully I won't have to hold his arms down at all soon.

This might have been easier to start earlier in his development, but we're doing it now and that's what matters. :)

The Great Sleep Debacle

Ever since Ethan was born I have been worrying about his sleep. Is he sleeping too much? Is he sleeping at the right times? Is he sleeping in the right spot? Why won't he sleep longer (at night)? Should I let him cry it out? Will he grow out of it?

Hmmph. It can drain a woman to worry so much.

After wrestling with Ethan at about 3 months to only sleep in his crib and at certain times of the day- I gave up. He does not have a set schedule, but he can sleep pretty much anywhere and does when he is tired. Here are some places he has slept recently:

-At playgroup with 5 other babies crawling around and making lots of noise.
-In Dairy Queen in his car seat.
-At home through our neighbors moving in and blaring loud music seemingly into our house.
-On a walk in the stroller through the neighborhood.

We have a routine during the day and I can pretty much tell you at what times he will sleep during that routine- but it will most likely not be in his crib. He will have to one day when he gets to big to sleep other places. But for now, he sleeps in his crib at night.

My newest trick is a certain song that he will fall asleep to in the car when played repeatedly. I think he likes the calm soothing voice of Garth Brooks in "To Make you Feel my Love" ( a song made famous by Bob Dylan). I love hearing it over and over, so it's a win win.

We have had a time getting him to sleep at night. In the beginning he would get up once from midnight until 7 am. Recently it has been every hour and a half. And you might remember my post about him crawling inthe middle of the night. This may have happened more than once. After much thinking and brainstorming with my mom and Jason, we came up with a solution.

We have this thing that used to go on the pack and play. It plays music and vibrates the pack and play for 6 minutes. I put that on the crib and when I put Ethan down in it I turn it on. It puts him into a deep sleep. Thank you Jesus!

Last night I got some of the best sleep I've had in a while. He went down at 9, got up when we were going to bed to eat at 11, slept until 2:30, ate, and then slept until 6. I even got him to go back to sleep until Jason got up for work around 7. Hallelujah! I am hearing the Messiah chorus in my head right now.

This has been the hardest adjustment for me as a new parent. I hope that it will only get better from here.

Taboo

I have a confession to make. I used to be very judgmental of my friends who are parents. I thought things like-- why does it take so long for them to leave the house in the morning? Who cares so much about a diaper rash? and Why does (insert simple thing) make them sooo happy - why aren't they simply happy to be around their kids?

Oh the grace that I needed. It is downright hard to be a parent sometimes. Talk about dying to self. Whew! Nothing is sacredly yours anymore- even going to the bathroom. It's always in danger of being interrupted by someone who thinks their needs are greater than yours at the moment.

I cross my heart not to judge another parent's loving * method of parenting their child again.

Here are a couple of parenting methods that I used to be more judgmental of that being a mom has changed my thoughts on:

1. Where the baby sleeps at night. We want to believe that babies go in the crib at bedtime and wake up when the sun comes up cooing to say - I'm up now. This is not the case. At several interludes throughout the middle of the night said baby will be screaming for you to come take them out of their crib. Maybe they're hungry. Maybe they miss you. Maybe they can't get back to sleep. Maybe their gums hurt. But don't bring your baby to bed with you! They will surely die from you rolling over on them. :) Actually- women have been sleeping with their babies for thousands of years. From what I have read it is actually safer for a baby to sleep with their mom. They remember to breathe because they hear mommy breathing. Mom and baby's sleeping rhythms are in tune- making it easier to wake and feed baby during the night. Moms instinctively form a  protective body position around their baby. For us, it works to bring Ethan into bed in the morning as Jason is going off to work. This way I can get Ethan to sleep until 9 or 10. Honestly, sometimes it is the best sleep I get all night.

2. Breastfeeding in public. Breastfeeding is hard enough with the frequency and latching- don't make moms hide away at home to do it. I have been shocked by the lack of public places that have a nursing area. The only one I know of is at Babies R Us.  Even the family restroom at the Virginia Beach Aquarium is lacking a spot to nurse. I can understand why some women are driven to feed their babies in public. They don't want to be hermits!

Those are the 2 biggies that I know of. The next time you find yourself judging a mom with a screaming child or nursing their baby at Target- remember- they are probably doing the best job they can with what they know. And remember me and how walking in their shoes is different than you thought. :)

*(This post is not encompassing abusive situations having to do with neglect, physical harm, or emotional manipulation of children. Those are obviously not loving parents. They are not trying to lovingly parent their kids.)

Babywearing

I went a local consignment store called Sugar Snap today. I was looking for a new baby carrier that I could use around the house. I have a Bjorn- and I really enjoy it. But, I can't bend over and do things with it because it doesn't hold Ethan's head super well.

The first thing the lady at the store did was ask what kind of carrier I use. I told her and she said- "We babywearers hate Bjorns." First of all, I didn't realize there was a term called "babywearing". Second of all, I felt judged because I was not included in her babywearing camp because of my Bjorn. I was taken aback that she would insult the very carrier I have. She said babywearers hate them because they hold baby by the crotch and it seems uncomfortable. I think she thought I was a bad mom because I use a Bjorn.

Being that I didn't go in there to impress the sales lady- I pressed on. I tried on a Moby wrap- Ethan hated it. I tried on a Boba- Ethan started to cry. I tried on a Lucky baby sling- Ethan almost fell out of it.He kept arching his back and started to get fussy. He hated it. So, I decided to stick with my Bjorn- and brave the judging by all the babywearers. :)

I definitely think holding Ethan is super important. I have read so much about how babies being touched stimulates their growth hormones and they actually grow more. I think I can hold Ethan a lot without having to wear him in a carrier. I also think Ethan needs to be on the floor learning how to move around and play with toys. If he is always in a carrier where his movement is restricted- he may not be able to do all things he wants to do. Being that he wants to be in everything already, I think that's why he hated all the carriers today. I think one of the carriers that we looked at today would have been fabulous for when Ethan was little. But now that he is such a curious little guy who wants to try everything out, a carrier may not be his cup of tea anymore.

I'm glad we figured that out today! I'm thankful they let me try so many carriers on. Ethan's next trick is to roll over from back to front, and he is really close! He will be sitting up soon and crawling soon. I can't wait to see him figure all these things out. :) Mabye we'll revisit carriers in the future, but for now I think we have figured out Ethan hates being restricted in them- just like he hated being restricted in a swaddle when he was first born. :)

The Bjorn

The Moby Wrap

 The Boba

The Lucky Sling

Ethan loving his play time

All in a day's work...

Sometimes being a parent takes a lot of creativity!

Why I Love Nursing

I have grown to love nursing. I knew that it would be hard to get a hang of at first, but I never thought I would grow to love it so much. Here are a few reasons why:

- It's so good for Ethan. Scientists are still discovering ways that breast milk is better than formula! It helps Ethan's changing colon and feed his brain. It changes in structure and consistency as Ethan grows. It constantly creates antibodies for Ethan to ward off sickness. It reduces his risks of childhood and adulthood illnesses.

-It's so good for me. At one month after birthing Ethan- I had a mere 13 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I don't own a scale- or I would know how far I've come since then. It reduces my risks of breast cancer and diabetes later on in life.

-It's so easy and convenient. Ethan downs a meal in 20 minutes. There is no warming up or mixing a bottle. I don't even have to wash the bottle after he's done! It's great. If he is hungry- I can feed him at any moment. If he's fussy and just needs something familiar and comforting to calm him down- nursing always works.

-It's a special time that I get to have with Ethan. It has helped to create a bond between the 2 of us. He finds comfort in me and I love getting to hold him and enjoy him. He is always so cute when he nurses.

-It's such a miracle. Something from me goes into him and nourishes him. It transfers into all the rolls on his body and drool from his mouth. It's so amazing that all that is possible because of milk that comes out of me.

It took a little while for nursing not to hurt. Ethan being older has helped with that. He can latch on really well and I don't have to hold him so gently. He really only nurses 4 times during the day. The rest of the times are going to bed, at night, and when he wakes up in the morning. Easy peasy. Once I got through the first 2 months-- everything was smooth sailing.

I would highly highly recommend nursing. I'm going to try to do it for the first year. I will keep you posted on if I am able to make it or not.

Labor of Love

When Ethan was a brand new baby, we did what most parents do-- had Ethan sleep in our room. He slept in his pack and play for the first 2 weeks. He did not do very well because he was flat on his back and would constantly spit up and wake himself up to cry. I tried to burp him- but even to this day Ethan will not burp at night.

So, our solution was to put a a little bouncy seat in his crib- in his own room. This way he could be propped up and sleep at the same time. It worked perfectly- he gave us 2 stretches of 4 hours of sleep at night. What a great baby!

 Until now... Ethan has outgrown his seat. He will wake up in the middle of the night crying because of the precarious position he has gotten himself into. He will scoot down to where he is literally hanging off the edge of the seat. He will turn sideways so much his little head is under his body and he can't get it out from under it. Yikes! He doesn't need it anymore. He has slept plenty of times on his back now in different places (pack and play- our bed while mommy is showering- our bed on Sunday morning when we want to sleep in).The only problem is- he does not like sleeping in his seemingly huge crib alone.I can't blame him.

I don't think I would change what I did with putting his seat in his crib. It gave me peace of mind that he would not choke to death on his spit up.( Plus some desperate prayers in the middle of the night.)  It allowed us to put him in his own room at 2 weeks. It was something he enjoyed and was helpful in getting him to sleep long stretches at night.

I knew this day was coming- when I would have to teach Ethan to adapt to something new, to try something he didn't like for his own good. His first big lesson. Sleeping in his crib alone. 

It started last night. I'm not into crying and I don't think Ethan is either. I looked up some methods of people who agree with us. I stumbled upon a video of Dr. Sears (whom I am loving) and a method he suggests. He suggests that when you put your baby in their crib- to place your hand on his chest and stay there until he falls asleep. It lets him know that you are there and it will be ok.

I never did this with Ethan when he was in his seat. He would fall asleep on his own- no big deal. But with his seat gone- he will cry and cry. So, to reassure him that it is ok -he can fall asleep without his seat- I have used this technique. I just put him down for a nap in his crib and he started to cry. I went in and put my hand on his chest for about 5 minutes. He fell asleep and I left. We did this 2 more times and he is out cold. 

I think he will be able to get more sleep because he won't turn himself upside down in his seat. But it will take a little bit of effort on my part to get him used to the crib.

Here are some pics of Ethan asleep in his seat.

 One Month Old- so little!

 Two months old- getting bigger...

Three months old- too big!

My Epidural- the good, the bad, and the ugly

The good... for 8 1/2 hours of my 12 hour labor I felt nothing and could even sleep.

The bad... Ethan came out with his head sideways. I almost had to have a c-section but in the end had an episiotomy and a vacuum was used to pull little man out. According to my doctor, if I had not had an epidural I could have labored in some different positions to get his head to turn.

The ugly... my left knee is still numb. 9 weeks later I still have numbness. It was very numb right afterwards, but it has been tingly and itchy and recovered some feeling. I still have a band of numbness right above my left knee-- it feels funny when I shave. The nuerologist said my nerves could be bruised, much like skin bruises and it may take a little while to get feeling back. He wants me to come in and see him if it doesn't go away.

In hindsight, I think I would do it again. My labor at the beginning was so painful. My contractions were about 30 seconds apart. I think that was worse than the actual labor part. Now, if I had to have a c-section I may be telling a different story right now. I think I would rather have natural labor than major surgery.

Thank goodness we ladies only have to go through labor a few times in our lives!

Regrets

Can you believe I already have regrets as a mom and Ethan is only 2 months old? My biggest regret is the hospital. I don't think I really bonded with Ethan until we got home from the hospital. I think part of the reason was that I hardly held him in the hospital. With the exception of when he was eating, someone else was holding him. We had too many visits from people.  People were coming before work (which was before official visiting hours), in the morning, during lunch, after work. We had so many visitors-- and a few of them came more than once a day.I know that everyone was excited to see Ethan, but it was too much.  Jason and I did not get much sleep and consequently did not get much alone time as a family.

Don't get me wrong, we love our family and friends. We couldn't have made it after Ethan was born without them. They made us meals, held Ethan so we could get a shower or go to the grocery store. They cared about us and checked up on us. They made sure we had everything we needed. And they love Ethan really well. and us really well. But it wasn't until we got home that we really had privacy. This privacy allowed Jason and I to start to bond with Ethan. We had little stories and moments with him- with just the 3 of us.

I think our next go round at the hospital will have to be different. I want to hold my baby and bond with them. I want to get more sleep and more time as a family. I want to be able to take a shower and actually have time to blow dry my hair or put make up on in the morning. I want to be able to read a book or have some down time to relax. I want to be able to sleep when Ethan is sleeping-- at least enough to get a good nap in everyday. I am going to make sure these things happen next time.

I want to have visitors, but mabye we could institute a once a day limit. We could carve out a time of the day for "family time" that is just Jason, Ethan, our new little one and I. We could make sure people ask before they hold Ethan and know that they may not get to hold him right when they want to or at all on each visit. Yes, it's all going to be very different next time. Live and learn right?

Little Ethan at the Hospital

Advice

I am reading many a book about babies lately. Most of them were given to me during pregnancy. They are good, but seem to conflict with each other about baby advice. Here are some examples:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding says:
-Share a bed with your newborn. It's the only way to get great sleep at night. You won't even know when they're nursing and they will feel safe and secure.
-Nurse your child as often as they want to. Don't worry about a baby eating too much or gaining too much weight. They will regulate themselves and how much they should eat- much like we decide if we are going to have a large meal or snack on a bowl of cereal.

What to Expect the First Year says:
-Put your baby in another room after 1 or 2 weeks. It helps you to get more sleep because you don't hear all of their baby noises and it helps your baby to get more sleep because you are not checking on all of their baby noises.
- Nurse your baby every 2-3 hours. When they cry because they want to eat all the time ( a page about a woman feeding her child every hour) it could be because they are greedy and want to eat more than they need. Distract them with other things to try to stretch the time between feedings.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. The books all contradict each other on major topics. I think just experimenting and finding what Jason and I can live with on these topics is the best way.The books have good ideas, but are not the expert on my little guy. As long as Ethan is clean, fed, and happy then we are doing a great job.

It's True

All the hype about babies being a lot of work at the beginning is true-especially when you are new at it. I think the hardest thing for me is not knowing what to expect. Is he tired, hungry, bored? Yesterday, Ethan wanted to eat every 2 hours. Today he wants to sleep. He woke up at 8, ate, and fell asleep at 9. Not just a little asleep but out cold. It's been almost 2 hours and he is still out cold. Yesterday I couldn't get him to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time. It must be a growth spurt.

I hear that at 6 weeks babies start to have more of a rhythm to their schedule. They become more predictable. I would like that just so that I know what is going on and what Ethan is needing at the moment. But I am enjoying him being so tiny. I don't want him to grow up too fast.

Ethan has been a great sleeper at night. I have been trying since the first few days of his life to teach him the difference between night and day. During the day we talk and play and go outside. The lights are all on and the house is noisy. At night the lights stay off except for a nightlight.We don't talk very much and sleepiness is encouraged. It has worked to some extent. Ethan goes to bed at 11:30 or 12, sleeps until 4 or 5, eats, then goes back to sleep until 8 or 8:30. Not too bad for a 3 week old.

Things coming up this week:

- Ethan gets his first bottle.
- Ethan gets his first pacifier.
- Mom goes to her final visit with Dr. Wolanski.
- Ethan goes to his one month check up with the pediatrician.